"A Mocktail Ms.?"
You look up, squinting through the sun glare, your sunglasses sliding down the bridge of your sweaty nose.
The Desert Island pool attendant is holding a tray of the most decadent-looking mocktails you’ve seen in a very long time.
You gleefully accept, thanking them and taking a sip of that sweet fruity nectar, before returning to the pool lounger. Magazine in hand, flipping it open to a natural beauty article. It reads,
UNCOMPLICATING BEAUTY WITH POWERHOUSE INGREDIENTS
Do you remember the last time you looked at the ingredients lists on your beauty products? It’s quite the concoction...
We’re not talking about the lychee and elderberry flower martinis created by an award-winning mixologist either… Most beauty products are more like your old friend Emily’s 'pre-game' intuitive mix from a variety of the spirits in your parents' pantry.
Like those lethal potions, over complicated and long ingredient lists are old-school and unnecessary. Yet women still apply 168 chemicals (on average) to our skin every day.
More does not equal more. The exact chemical breakdown of each product ingredient is only a google away...
You can learn if they have functional overlaps (vodka is vodka) and when filler ingredients are used to bulk up the volume (orange juice in Mimosas). What studies have been done (mixers on an empty stomach) and what they do to your body (the worst hangover of your life).
So, it’s time we uncomplicated our beauty regime and tell Emily enough’s enough. No more unnecessary ingredients in our cosmetics - thank you!
Next to the article, you recognise a product – It's Desert Island Essentials Belly & Body Oil. Flipping to the front page of the magazine you realise it’s a Desert Island publication – of course. Surreptitiously you flip back to the ad – it continues
We only bottle four ingredients. They are natural and grown with no pesticides or sprays. Intentionally chosen to care for growing stretchy skin.
Let us introduce you to your new bff’s
Jojoba (Simmondsia Chinensis) Oil - AKA Jojo
Jojoba is your glowy, happy, thoughtful, card writing, ‘heya with a sun emoji ’ text for no reason, first person to wish you a happy birthday friend. She’s actually the best but often taken for granted. She’s brimming with goodness (essential fatty acids, powerful antioxidants and vitamin A, D and E) But don’t cross her – she can throw some killer shade (mostly at free radicals and wolf whistler’s). She’s never dull or boring and her stories are guaranteed to brighten your day. She’ll lean into conversations, all attentive, her gaze penetrating your soul (and skin but you know that’s obvious). Then she’ll drop you off and wait for you to get safety inside, the ultimate wing-gal protector, lucky you! She’s keeper this Jojo.
Strawberry (Fragaria Ananassa) Seed Oil – AKA Ana
Think Eastern European TikTok make-up contouring vixen. Equal parts Daquiri and lip-smacker minus the artificial flavours and preservatives. But don’t be fooled, she’s actually a natural beauty (from 9pm-9am Mon-Friday). She’s vibrant and fun, the life of the party. Brightening the room with her sweet and playful scent and leaving nothing in the tank, zero waste in fact. She can charm the itchy and irritated, soothing with the lightest touch. You’ll never guess her real age – she’s the master of collagen preservation, an antioxidant UV damage repairing powerhouse. A tiny yet fierce force of nature with a bouncy stride and a firm ‘yes I’m a strong feminine women and don’t mistake my joie de vivre with reckless frivolity’ handshake.
Sandalwood (Santalum Spicatum) Seed Oil – AKA Sandy
Sandy deserves a billboard in lights but she prefers low key fanfare. She’s an au naturel, down-to-earth, high achiever from the Aussie bush - winner of the 2019 United Nations Equatorial Prize actually. She’s not fazed by much, hot humid weather, insects, being mistaken for her sister (the essential oil), space invading Airbnb hosts who can’t take a hint. She’ll be right. She’s easy breezy on the surface but once you know her you’ll uncover she’s a deep thinking intellectual and old soul. She smiles with her eyes and her distinctive laugh turns heads. She’ll hurtle towards you and squeeze you tight, stopping time (enlarged pores, distention and discolouration while she’s at it). Sandy likes to talk, but never gossip, it’s always BIG visions and future dreams. Her presence makes you feel grounded and inspired to take action for a better world.
Vitamin E (Tocopherol Acetate)
You know and love her already, everyone does. Her calming (anti-inflammatory) aura is magnetic. She’s the ultimate diplomat too, her friendships never go rancid (oxidise). A lover, not a fighter, unless it comes to free radicals – working her magic on them with ease and smoothing tensions (and skin) effortlessly.
Okay now I’m intrigued, you think and you make a note to check out their Instagram page - after your digital detox of course.
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